How it works

Nine simple steps from a private username to a real conversation. No names, no phone numbers, no endless swiping. Tap "Learn more" on any step for the details.

Start Here

  1. 1

    Get your username

    We make one up for you. No phone, email, or social media needed.

    Your username and a 3-word passphrase are created for you at random, so nothing about them points back to the real you.

    Write your passphrase down somewhere safe. It's the only way back in.

  2. 2

    Tell us about yourself

    Answer only what you're comfortable sharing.

    This is your profile. The more you answer, the easier it is for the right people to find you.

    Questions are grouped by topic: basics, lifestyle, values, and more. Skip anything you like and come back later.

  3. 3

    Tell us who you're looking for

    Describe the person and the kind of relationship you want.

    This is your search, and it's separate from your profile. We check both directions: they have to fit what you want, and you have to fit what they want.

    Start with what matters most. You can refine over time—try what you can and improve as you learn what works.

  4. 4

    Pick your match day

    Choose the day of the week your new matches arrive.

    No endless swiping. Once a week, we send you a short list of people, best fits first.

    Pick whatever day suits your life: a quiet Sunday, a Friday evening. That's your match day.

  5. 5

    Check in once a week

    Your new matches will be waiting. No rush, no pressure.

    Good matches take a little time. Checking in once a week keeps dating calm instead of consuming.

    Don't want to wait? Results Now gets you matches right away for a few credits.

  6. 6

    Say Yes, Maybe, or No

    Go through your matches the way a good matchmaker would, one at a time.

    Yes means you'd like to take a next step. Maybe saves them for later. No means not right now.

    A No is respected. You won't keep showing up in each other's matches. Changed your mind? You can update it later.

  7. 7

    Swap photos

    Faces come after interest, not before.

    When a Yes looks promising, ask to swap photos. The other person decides whether to share back. You're always in control of what you show and when.

    Getting to know someone before you see them keeps things kinder, and a lot safer than a public wall of photos.

  8. 8

    Ask to chat

    Only when you're both interested. No cold messages from strangers.

    Chat opens once you've both said Yes and the other person accepts your request. Nobody can message you out of the blue.

  9. 9

    Start talking

    Have a real conversation, at your own pace.

    Talk at your pace. If you use different languages, we can help with translation so both of you stay comfortable.

    Stuck for words? We can suggest a question better than "How was your weekend?" But the conversation is always yours.